These Last Weeks of Pregnancy

I am officially 35 weeks pregnant... in other words, this means that sh** is getting real, real quick.

I always find the last few weeks of a pregnancy to be particularly chaotic and full of mixed feelings, but this time, the impending arrival of baby number three is adding to the already unstoppable flow of disarray and anxiousness.

On the one hand, I am huge and feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  I don't sleep well, I have to pee all the time, and daily tasks are becoming nearly impossible.  I miss being able to bathe my kids without feeling like it is a serious workout, I am not enjoying the crippling leg cramps that wake me up at night, I can't wait to wear normal clothing again, and Lord knows, I am in desperate need of a glass of wine.

Being able to eat, let alone drink a glass of water, without getting heartburn is something I am looking more forward to than you can imagine... but most importantly, I am getting so incredibly excited to meet our newest addition and hold him for the first time.  Those first magical moments of hearing him cry, getting to finally see what he looks like, and breathing in that amazing newborn smell, are all blessings I know full well that I will treasure for a lifetime.

The unknown is what always makes me weary.  Not knowing when exactly he will decide to make his way into the world leaves me feeling nervous.  How we will adjust to being a family of 5, scares me a little bit.  What kind of baby he will be, good tempered or not, has me wondering.  How he will handle the craziness that is our normal is certainly something to ponder.  Of course, I know that it will all be okay, that we will make it all work no matter how many balls I have to juggle... but the feelings are palpable either way.

At the moment, I am treasuring these last days with just Max and Ella.  It feel like they've gotten so big suddenly, that they've made it easy for me to forget just how little new babies are... until I started organizing newborn sized clothes and the first box of teeny tiny diapers arrived on our doorstep.

They have both been so sweet throughout my pregnancy.  Rubbing and kissing my belly, whispering "Hi baby brother, we can't wait to meet you" to it, and just being generally affectionate in all things baby related.  Max only caught me off guard once, when he asked my how the baby was going to get out, leaving me speechless for a minute, before Mike stepped in and replied that it was magic... thankfully that answer satisfied him, and he did not ask again.

In so many ways I hope these next few weeks go fast, but as any mother knows... you quickly learn not to wish away time as soon as you become a parent.  It goes by fast enough as it is.... So I'm living in the moment, and preparing for all of the amazing moments to come, and in the blink of an eye, they surely will.

We can't wait to meet you baby boy... whenever you decide to enter this world!

Becoming a Party of Five

Well friends, if you haven't already heard, allow me to share the news... we're having another baby!!! That's right, baby number three is on the way, and due to arrive in early April.

The number of responses we have received, upon disclosing our little secret, have ranged from the ever popular, "congratulations!" to "good God, you guys are crazy!".

I have to admit, that from the moment that little plus sign popped up on the home pregnancy test, I too was thinking we might be a bit nuts.  Mike and I have both always agreed that we wanted a big family, but with this being my third pregnancy in under 4 years, I can't say I'm not beginning to feel a little like my body is no longer my own.  Aside from that minor detail however, if I'm being honest, I couldn't be more thrilled about welcoming another little one into the world, and I'm feeling truly blessed to be in this position once again.

Despite the fact that there are times when I feel like I have totally lost my mind around here, I'm kind of at a point, where I live for the loud and chaotic days that have become our normal. They are full of just so much love and so many happy memories.  The pros far outweigh the cons.

This time around, pregnancy has been so different from the previous two for me.

I was fortunate to rarely deal with nausea while pregnant with both M&E, but this time, I have not been so lucky.  My first trimester was plagued with days where I wanted nothing more than to lay on the couch.  A mere whiff of coffee (one of my very favorite things in the whole world), has had me running for the toilet.  I have been so exhausted, that my kids have gotten to enjoy more "movie days" than I care to admit, and the fact that I started to show around 9 weeks had me begging my doctor to check again to make sure there wasn't another baby in there.

Perhaps it's the fact that I didn't get around to losing all of my "baby weight" after having Ella.  I'm starting this pregnancy off weighing more than I did either of my previous pregnancies, but there's not much I can do about it now.  I'm making every effort I can to get to the gym at least 3-4 days a week, but sadly had to drop out of my half marathon training, when the nausea was just too much to bear.  

Carbs have become my best friend through these past 3 months (bagels, I'm talking about you), but now that I've hit the second trimester, I'm finally starting to crave healthy foods again.  Hopefully it stays that I way.

Thinking about the jump from two kids to three is so different from how I felt about the jump from one child to two.  My pregnancy with Ella was filled with anxiety over whether or not I could love another baby as much as I loved Max, whether or not my heart was big enough to be infatuated with another soul as much as I was with my first born... naturally the moment I first held Ella in my arms, that anxiety instantly melted away, and I learned very quickly that the love only grows... It grows so much.

This time around, the fears are different.  There isn't a doubt in my mind that I can love another baby (or 10) as much as I love the ones that I already have.  This time around the fear is more "holy crap, can we do this?"  Deep down, I know for sure that Mike and I have it in us, but come spring time we are going to be out numbered by three zany little people.  Our kids aren't calm and quiet... they are loud, wild, and full of personality... just like us... so I can't wait to see just how much more crazy our days are about to become.

Either way, I am bursting with joy right now over all that God has blessed us with, thrilled that we could finally share our secret, and excited to share what's to come with all of you.

Looks like it's time to start shopping for a minivan!